Joy Minus Validation

Wildly moving my limbs, I try to follow a dance workout routine. I allow myself
to admit that I will never be someone who dances at a party nor will I receive
compliments for how amazingly beautiful that routine was. I chuckle, as I type
this. Do you find yourself thinking back to an activity you picked up, that you
would never admit to before a group of people? I hope you find yourself
laughing, too.

As a child, I was encouraged to do my best. I tried, I found activities I was
good at and oth

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An Allowance: ‘I don’t know’

Blank space, I am trying to find the right words. The ‘right words’, I wonder. I
listen to someone describe a rough day. I pause, I want to let them know they’ll
get through this and it will be okay. How do I do this?

I think about how I will never really know how it feels for them to experience a
rough day. I learn that my rough day could look very different from a friend’s.
I might overcook my lunch, wondering if I would ever be able to perfect cooking.
An unassuming thought about my ability

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Deep Listening

The voices are loud. Whose voices? My own. I go over my mistakes, I try to hold
my stance. I can hear a friend defending their position. We’re at an impasse,
disagreement of sorts.

And so it continues, sentences volleyed back and forth. Some sentences are
accusatory, some as disguised guilt. On most days, we find it in us to work
through conflict, and some days, we allow each other the space to hurt. In the
midst of a disagreement, I find myself unable to listen to the other person. My
own voic

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All Eyes On Me

You walk into a room and everybody starts staring at you. You try to find a
reflective surface so that you can check whether you look okay. You can hear
them murmuring amongst themselves and are sure that somebody just said your
name. You can feel them looking at you as you fidget with your hair and clothes.
You hear your name again and are certain that they are talking about you behind
your back and laughing at you.

Does this or any version of it happen to you?

If your answer is yes, you prob

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Connecting with a Larger purpose

A friend of mine sent a story a few days ago. Something about this intrigued me.

A king had a huge army that consisted of men, horses, and elephants. A
particular elephant was his favorite. It was his trained accomplice in the war
field. It complimented the King’s valor with its calm demeanor, patience, and
dutiful attitude. But the elephant aged as time passed and its strength seemed
to deplete. Its ability to work was found reducing. The kind-hearted King
thought it is prudent that the elepha

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Routine

I wake up in the morning on rare occasions . I believe my job has been
responsible for this to a great extent as I have mostly done the same shift
(Afternoon) over and over again. By the time I wake up, half the day is over and
whatever is left of it, is spent working. I don’t know how many of you can
relate with me. To be honest, I never actually liked waking up in the morning.
I’m sure a lot of people can relate to that.

Most people I have met and interacted with (including my therapist) tell

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Self Help

Have you ever read a self-help book in your life?

You know, the kind of books which claim that they will change your life and how
you look at the world. By the time you are done reading the book you will be
able to live your life the way you want to. The ones that tell you – they will
broaden your horizons, give you the tools to success and what not.

Have they actually helped you?

I’m not sure how you’ll answer this question. I am mostly just writing from my
own experience here. I have never

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The Mindfulness Gap

Viktor Frankl, Nazi holocaust survivor, psychiatrist, philosopher, author and
founder of logotherapy has said, “Between stimulus and response there is a
space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies
our growth and our freedom.”

This space between stimulus and response that he talks about is nothing but the
mindfulness gap. Mindfulness gap makes us assess the situation that we are in
and makes us look at all the possible options of action that we have. It allows

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Pushing Back: Ball in a Pool

“I love the detailing on this, the colors blend so well. Wonderful illustration,
D!”

A graphic designer, she is listening to her mentor’s feedback on an illustration
for a publication.

D repeats the words to herself: “wonderful illustration, wonderful illustration,
wonderful..”

D stops mid-thought: “Was it really? The edges were so rough. It seemed like a
mess to me.. Am I good enough?”

D goes on to imagine her illustration and all that she thought was wrong with
it.

I am D, sometimes. I

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To Strive or Not To Strive

Humor me; just Google “Strive for Perfection”. You will see one image that says
Strive for Perfection in Everything You Do. Then there are articles that say
Strive for Progress, Not for Perfection, or Strive for Excellence, Not for
Perfection. And then there are articles on Why Striving For Perfection is
Holding You Back. So then? As one of the professors in Three Idiots says to
Aamir Khan, “Arre bhai, kehna kya chaahte ho?’ the question one is justified in
asking is, “What the hell should we

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